By Lisa Brooks, RCC, OT – Therapist for Overwhelmed Parents | Vancouver, BC
For overwhelmed parents, neurodivergent women, and anyone navigating seasonal burnout

Black and white photo of a woman holding a cup of coffee and looking out a window.

INTRODUCTION

It is the third week of November and your alarm goes off. You drag yourself out of bed, open the curtains, and see a dark sky. As you try to switch your brain into “awake mode” while waking the kids, making lunches, and getting everyone out the door for school and work, a familiar tightness rises in your throat.

You glance at the calendar on the fridge and remember:
The holidays are only four short weeks away.

Instantly, a mix of emotions rush to the surface like when your hand slips off of a ball you have been holding underwater. Dread, overwhelm, resentment, anxiety, and the familiar fear of not doing enough. You are already drained before breakfast has even started.

Then the mental load begins its climb.

A running checklist of holiday tasks fills your mind. The pressure to make this year feel magical, coordinate gatherings, manage expectations, create meaningful memories, and keep everyone happy. This seasonal load does not replace your everyday load. It stacks directly on top of it.

You still have doctor appointments for the kids, school projects, work deadlines, life administration, meal planning, emotional labour, invisible labour, and the job of being the default problem solver for everyone.

This is the season when so many parents quietly reach their breaking point.

Venn diagram showing seasonal load, emotional load, and everyday load with a burnout zone in the center.

WHY THE HOLIDAYS FEEL SO HEAVY

Even for parents who love the holidays, there’s an emotional pressure cooker that builds around this time of year.

A few reasons it hits so hard:

1. Your nervous system is already depleted

When your baseline capacity is low, any extra demand, even something joyful, feels like too much.

2. Cultural expectations layer on

“Make magic.”
“Be present.”
“Say yes.”
“Keep traditions alive.”
“Don’t disappoint anyone.”

No one talks about how unrealistic this is for a human nervous system that’s already running on fumes.

3. Emotional labour skyrockets

Many parents (especially mothers and neurodivergent women) carry the job of anticipating everyone’s needs, holding the emotional climate of the home, and ensuring no one melts down.

4. Burnout feels like failure

But it’s not.
It’s your system signalling depletion.

Diagram showing four capacity levels in cups labeled empty capacity, low capacity, medium capacity, and full capacity.

WHAT HOLIDAY BURNOUT LOOKS LIKE

You may notice:

Snapping faster at your kids
Feeling drained before 10 am
Difficulty making decisions
Pressure to hold everything together
Feeling guilty for wanting a break
Overthinking, resentment, or self criticism
Sensory overload from noise, clutter, lights, and expectations
A sense of “I cannot keep doing this”

Many parents describe holiday burnout as the feeling of being in freeze mode while moving through mud.

If you are neurodivergent

Seasonal changes, sensory input, routine disruption, social pressure, and gift planning all intensify the overwhelm.

Checklist graphic showing signs of low capacity including tiredness, overwhelm, irritability, foggy thoughts, pressure to keep others happy, decision fatigue, guilt when resting, and rushing through the day.

WHAT PEOPLE THINK HELPS BUT DOES NOT

These are not harmful, but they do not rebuild capacity.

A bubble bath while worrying about the to do list
“Self care” that feels like another task
Staying up late for alone time and waking up exhausted
Scrolling for distraction
Pretending everything is fine
Doing all the holiday magic making on your own

These activities offer short distraction, not regulation.

WHAT ACTUALLY REBUILDS CAPACITY DURING THE HOLIDAYS

Here is what I teach in my clinical work with overwhelmed parents.

1. Reduce the invisible load

Simplify traditions
Share responsibilities
Remove unnecessary tasks
Choose one meaningful activity instead of ten stressful ones

2. Say no to protect your energy

This is not selfish. It is a nervous system boundary.

3. Use small body based regulation breaks

Step outside for cool air
Try a breath reset with a slow four count exhale
Use thirty seconds of sensory grounding
Move your body in a way that feels good (stretch, hang your body into gravity, roll your shoulders…)
Put your phone away

4. Choose micro rest instead of idealized rest

You do not need a retreat.
You need two minutes of being truly off duty.

5. Ask for help early

Ask before the breaking point arrives.

6. If you are neurodivergent

Prepare sensory supports in advance
Reduce stimulation where possible
Use grounding before transitions
Keep predictable routines when you can

Infographic titled Holiday Capacity Reset with five steps including removing unnecessary tasks, sharing the invisible load, choosing micro rest, using body-based regulation, and protecting your energy.

A GENTLE REFRAME FOR OVERWHELMED PARENTS

You are not failing.
You are not too sensitive.
You are not meant to hold the emotional, seasonal, logistical, social, and sensory load of an entire family alone.

Your nervous system is communicating a need.
Less pressure. More support. A slower pace. Real rest.

You are allowed to listen.

IF YOU WANT SUPPORT THIS SEASON

This time of year is difficult for many parents and neurodivergent women. You do not have to carry this alone.

I offer sensory informed and nervous system based counselling for overwhelmed parents, neurodivergent adults, and anyone navigating burnout.

Book a free consult to see if working together feels supportive.

RUNNING ON EMPTY THIS HOLIDAY SEASON? YOU’RE NOT ALONE